


we'll build new traditions in place of the old

by dephinecormier



Series: Black Widow Bingo 2020 [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Christmas, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F, Post-Avengers (2012), and since i'm following canon you know what happens there, if you don't the answer is minor character death (off-screen), mentioned clint & coulson & natasha & maria friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28269984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dephinecormier/pseuds/dephinecormier
Summary: Here, with Maria’s ribs rising and falling below the weight of her arm, Natasha lets herself relax into the familiar sensation. It reminds her of the countless other times she had fallen asleep just like this, with Maria’s arms around her. Untucking her nose just enough to take in the tree once more, Natasha smiles.An old tradition, and perhaps a new.or the blackhill christmas domestic fluff that no one asked for but i wrote anyway*Written for:Black Widow Bingo - “you’re the only one who gets to call me that, you know”Marvel Femslash Bingo - huddling for warmth
Relationships: Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov
Series: Black Widow Bingo 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912630
Comments: 3
Kudos: 83





	we'll build new traditions in place of the old

**Author's Note:**

> massive thanks to Charlie who beta-ed this in a bit of a pinch!
> 
> title from [snow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLKmcSuMeCI) by sleeping at last. squares filled: “you’re the only one who gets to call me that, you know” (blackwidowbingo) and huddling for warmth (mfsbingo2020)

It’s early Christmas morning by the time Natasha arrives at the apartment. The weariness from her disastrous mission sloughs off her shoulders as Natasha lets the door swing shut behind her. The apartment is quiet aside from the muted sounds of traffic in the distance, seemingly empty; but the combat boots sitting beside the door, neatly aligned, betray Maria’s presence. She takes a moment to relish the feeling of coming home, shoulders loosening at the familiar clink of her keys against the bowl next to her.

A small smile tugs at the corners of her lips when she hears the sound of quiet paws skittering around the corner. Natasha juggles the package in her arms, letting her duffle fall to the floor with a dull thud. She manages to shrug off her coat before Liho turns the corner, tail lifted high in greeting. Natasha shifts the package from out under her arm, balancing it on her knees as she bends down to pet the small, black cat.

“Hey,” Natasha scratches at the spot behind Liho’s ear, “Missed me?”

Liho chirps in agreement, purring as she stretches up to headbutt Natasha once, then twice. Her attention is then caught by the wrapped package held steady in Natasha’s arms. Batting curiously at the battered package, Liho lets out an indignant _mrrow_ when Natasha pushes her away.

“Liho no,” Natasha chides gently as she straightens up, ignoring the feel of her muscles protesting the movement. “This is a present for Maria,” Her feet move, automatically mapping the path towards the kitchen. “Not you.”

Liho meows, tail flicking as she winds between Natasha’s legs, nearly tripping her in the process. “Hey, stop that,” Natasha scolds, bending down to scoop her up with the arm not carrying the package. “There’s nothing in there for you, I promise.” Natasha continues fruitlessly as Liho wriggles in her grasp, trying to get closer to the mysterious package.

Natasha is so focused on not dropping either of the precious cargo in her arms, that it takes her a moment to notice the dimly lit space. Feet stuttering to a stop, she takes in the apartment. She slides the present absent-mindedly onto the kitchen countertop as she stares at lights stringed around the apartment; ones that had most decidedly _not_ been there when she had left more than a month ago. Liho takes the opportunity to make a break for it, leaping onto the countertop to further inspect the package.

Natasha pays her no mind, turning to follow the trail of lights to the living room.

Her breath catches in her throat as she takes in the well-secured fairy lights framing the centrepiece above the couch. There, kneeling on the couch cushions, Natasha lets her fingers trail over the printed photographs. From staged group shots, to candid photographs of Natasha kissing Maria under the tree at the Rockefeller Centre from a year ago. A collection of her favourite memories of the holidays; all arranged in the shape of a tree.

Natasha takes a moment to swallow the knot of emotions that rises up in her throat at the display.

She had never been one to celebrate Christmas; the thought of it was almost laughable really. Imagining the Red Room stringing up lights and decorating Christmas trees or Madame B. handing out gifts to the Widows startles a derisive snort out of her. They were weapons – never children – first, last, and always. Little wolf girls trained to be wielded with deadly ease with no time for silly distractions.

Even after burning it all down, Natasha had spent her time running, biding her time and keeping eyes out for any resurgence of the Red Room. Defecting to SHIELD had changed little at the start, aside from the incessant chatter of fellow agents about going home for the holidays that ranged from palpable excitement to bitter resentment. Natasha had regarded it all with nothing more than a clinical detachment.

Up until two years later that was. A simple data retrieval mission gone sideways had culminated in a messy firefight in a HYDRA lab. The mission had wrapped up far later than it was supposed to, with Clint, Coulson and her stumbling onto the New York base for a debrief with Maria in the early hours of the Christmas morning.

After the debrief wrapped up, Clint had asked about their plans for Christmas to be met with blank stares and shrugged shoulders. Which was how Natasha had found herself roped into an impromptu Christmas movie marathon, a day that had quickly become one of her fondest memories at SHIELD.

Natasha can still feel the heady rush of delight of hearing Maria’s laughter at her snarky commentary, the colour high on her cheeks from one-too-many eggnogs smuggled in by Coulson; the indignant pout on Clint’s face as she ducked the handful of microwaveable popcorn thrown at her head.

It’s a memory that is bittersweet at the edges, now, tinged with the sharpness of grief of Coulson’s recent death. Clint, too, had withdrawn after Loki’s attack, taking time off from SHIELD to rest and to heal. Natasha doesn’t blame him, knows how difficult it is to find ways to handle the aftermath, the fallout; recognises the desperate need to remake oneself after being unmade by someone else, to establish a new baseline from which to operate from when every day felt more like freefalling through shaky foundations.

She’s done it far too many times, herself.

It doesn’t make it hurt any less.

The feeling sits, and Natasha lets it settle, seeping into her bones, washing over her like tidal waves rushing inland. Her fingers brush over the photo of the four of them from years ago, looking far younger than Natasha remembers them being, grins wide on their faces. The sting of grief recedes into something a little more bearable.

The moment is broken by the sound of a stifled yawn. Feet shuffle from back behind her before warm arms are wrapping around her waist. It makes her feel like she can breathe easy again. Natasha sinks into the gentle embrace gratefully. “Hey,” Maria mumbles into her neck, breathing warm puffs of air against her skin, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Natasha reaches blindly behind her to cup a hand around the back of Maria’s neck, squeezing apologetically. “Did I wake you?”

“Mmm, I was awake,” Maria says unconvincingly, her denial belied by the yawn that overtakes her. Natasha huffs out a laugh of fond exasperation. She can hear the thread of tiredness running through her voice. Natasha knows that Maria had been pulling overtime ever since her safehouse had been blown to pieces – quite literally too. She can still feel her ears ringing from the explosion. Still, she had been lucky enough to escape with only minor scrapes and bruises from the flying debris, even managing to snag Maria’s present on her way out. It definitely counts as a win in her books.

Maria had gotten the short end of the stick trying to track down the source of the leak, and re-secure a way in after Natasha’s blown cover, while simultaneously overseeing three other ongoing ops that had only wrapped up days before Natasha had recovered the stolen Kree weaponry. Maria would have been running on fumes by the time Natasha’s op had ended.

“Well fancy that, considering that I heard that you left base hours before I arrived.” Carding her fingers through dark strands, she smooths down the back with her palm. “And you, have clearly been very busy since then.” Meaning that Maria must have crashed mere hours before Natasha had returned to the apartment.

Caught out on her lie, Natasha can feel the sheepish smile that spreads across Maria’s face. “I plead the fifth.” The soft curve of her lips move against the thrumming of her pulsepoint, making Natasha shiver. Natasha lets her hand follow the line down Maria’s arm to wrap around her wrist. Her thumb strokes gently across the skin there. “Do you like?” Maria says, before clarifying, “The decorations that is. Thought it would help make up for your mission.”

The question makes Natasha laugh incredulously at her girlfriend. Her stupidly, incredible girlfriend. “You’re joking right?” Natasha slips off the couch, turning to tug Maria in close. Pressing a kiss against her lips, Natasha whispers, “’Course I do. Best way to end off the year.”

“Good.”

Her breath steals out of her chest when Maria smiles at her. Backlit by the glow of the fairy lights strung up throughout the apartment, with her tousled hair framing her face and _oh-so-blue_ eyes sparkling in the dim lighting, Natasha doesn’t think that she’s ever seen someone quite so beautiful.

Maria’s arms tighten around Natasha’s waist, and she rests her forehead against Natasha’s. Her gaze slides into something more contemplative. “What a year, huh?” Her tone dips into the slightest bit of melancholy, reflecting on the changes the year had brought. Natasha immediately knows Maria’s thoughts have wandered to the place where hers were just mere moments ago.

To the ever-present hole in their lives; a thread unravelled, unweaving the patchwork quilt of the family that they had built. One that they had begun rebuilding, together, in the past months. New possibilities moulded from old foundations, Natasha reminds herself. It would never quite be the same as before, maybe not better either. Just different.

But a good different; alongside the best company Natasha could ever ask for.

Natasha smiles. “What a year,” she echoes before leaning in to kiss Maria once more, trying to convey the mix of emotions that she can’t quite seem to put into words.

The sound of paper ripping has Natasha breaking the kiss in an instant. “Liho, no!” Natasha is over by the kitchen counter in an instant, scooping the little devil up in her arms. “Pest,” Natasha scolds, surveying the damage that Liho had done. Liho blinks up at her, unrepentant. The gift wrap on the present was partially shredded, but at least the gift seemed to have avoided the destruction.

“I got you a present,” Natasha turns to face her as Maria comes up behind her. She throws Liho a mock glare that goes ignored. “One that Liho apparently decided to help you open.”

“Oh, my little helper from hell,” Maria bends down to place a quick kiss on Liho’s tiny, furry head, clearly suppressing her laughter. “And here I thought you were my present for Christmas.” Maria says, fluttering her lashes at Natasha dramatically. The sheer ridiculousness makes Natasha laugh, and Maria breaks, joining in not long after.

The full-bodied laugh dislodges Liho from her comfortable spot in Natasha’s arms. Liho wriggles, asking to be put down. A paw catches Natasha across the face. “Okay, okay,” Natasha lets her drop back onto the floor. A gleam appears in green eyes as Liho’s focus narrows on the present once more. “Don’t you dare,” Natasha nudges Liho away with her foot. She sidesteps to let Maria by. “Here, you should open it before Liho gets to it again.”

Taking advantage of the exposed wrapping, Maria gets it unwrapped in no time. Reading the words on the box, a grin appears on her face. “A beer advent?”

“A beer advent.” Natasha confirms, leaning against Maria’s side. Her hand wraps around Maria’s waist in a sideways hug. “I saw it and thought of you. Sorry it’s a little late though.” Natasha presses an apologetic kiss against Maria’s shoulder.

“Hey,” Maria turns, tilting Natasha’s chin up to meet her eyes. “I love it.” Tucking a fiery red strand behind Natasha’s ear, she brushes her thumb across Natasha’s cheekbone in a soothing gesture. “Thank you. Besides –” A mischievous glint appears in Maria’s eyes. “Since it’s already Christmas, that technically means that I can open it all at once.”

Maria’s words startle a huff of laughter out of Natasha. “I suppose that _is_ how it works.” Natasha turns her head, pressing a kiss against Maria’s palm.

Liho takes their distraction as an opportunity to leap up to the countertop yet again, pawing at the beer advent. Maria laughs at Natasha’s look of exasperation. Nudging Liho away from the box, she hefts it into her arms. “Here, I’ll put this away and cook us a little something for breakfast. You go wash up in the meantime.”

Natasha opens her mouth to protest. It was only around five in the morning and Maria still looked exhausted. Her stomach beats her to the punch, growling at the thought of food. Maria raises a pointed eyebrow, firmly standing her ground.

She capitulates. “Yes Ma’am.” Natasha would just have to find some other way to get Maria back to bed after that.

***

Setting her plate down on the coffee table, Natasha tucks herself back against Maria’s side. She’s careful not to jostle Liho, curled around Maria’s head on the back of the couch. The sounds of the television are low in the background; neither of them are quite paying the movie any attention, both having seen it enough times before. Maria’s half-finished mug of hot chocolate balances precariously on the arm of the couch.

It had taken her some convincing to get Maria to have that instead of actual coffee. Employing her Red Room tricks, Natasha had managed to hide Maria’s treasured stash of coffee, telling Maria that she seemed to be out of the precious brown liquid. Natasha could tell that Maria hadn’t believed her at all, but had still begrudgingly accepted the steaming cup of hot chocolate.

Natasha’s plan was working anyway; she had been watching Maria’s eyes blink closed in longer and longer intervals. Her face is half buried in her palm, barely held up by her arm. Now, Natasha just needed to convince Maria to get into a more comfortable position.

With an idea in mind, Natasha uncurls herself from Maria’s side. Maria’s attention slides immediately to her. Natasha takes a moment to tuck the blanket around Maria, pressing a small kiss to Maria’s temple. “I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

Maria hums in response. “You better,” she says, suppressing yet another yawn. It makes Natasha smile as she stands. Giving Liho a parting scratch, she gathers up the dirty dishes, snagging Maria’s mug as she goes.

“Hey I wasn’t done with that!”

Gracefully sidestepping Maria’s attempts to trip her, Natasha dances just out of her reach. “Now you are,” Natasha drains the remaining liquid. Ducking the cushion that Maria tosses at her head, she sticks out her tongue at Maria. The plates in her hand stay perfectly balanced throughout. Walking backwards towards the kitchen, she smirks as Maria scowls in her direction.

Natasha rinses off the plates, biding her time as she hears Maria shift around on the couch. Stacking the last plate in the dish rack, she wipes her hands dry. Heading back to the couch, she’s not at all surprised to find Maria stretched out on the couch, eyes closed with Liho curled against her chest. The blanket hangs, sliding half-off Maria’s shoulder.

Natasha’s gaze travels from Maria’s peaceful expression to the tree right above her. She takes a moment to study it, and her girlfriend. Liho’s ear flicks in her direction as she moves away. Natasha stills, holding her breath. When there is no sign of either of them stirring, she sneaks away silently to grab a few things.

Returning just as quietly as she left, Natasha sets the items down on the coffee table. Neither Maria, nor Liho seemed to have moved since then. Natasha grabs the instant camera and checks the settings. Satisfied, she kneels to get the perfect shot.

The sound of the camera is loud in the apartment. Liho’s eyes blink open, head swivelling towards her, observing. Natasha grabs the still-developing photo, and decides to risk getting another shot. Clicking her tongue softly to get Liho’s attention, she snaps another photo just as Liho yawns, jaws open wide to show off her sharp teeth.

Maria stirs slightly then, grumbling. “What are you up to now?” _Whoops_ , Natasha thinks to herself, _so maybe that wasn’t the best of ideas_.

“Nothing.”

At that, Maria’s eyes flutter open immediately. “What did you do?” Maria asks, pinning her with a suspicious look.

Natasha places the camera back down. “Like I said,” she says, taking a moment to examine the developed photos. “Nothing.” Deciding on the one with Liho yawning, she drops the other on the coffee table. She attaches the adhesive on the back as she stands. Eyeing the photograph she has in hand, Maria is already putting together the pieces.

“Really?”

Natasha’s lips twitch up at Maria’s exasperated tone. "You decorated. I think it's only fair if I get to add something to it too." Liho lets out an unhappy yowl as Natasha clambers onto the couch, jostling her. Her tail flicks as she jumps down from the couch, heading in the direction of the bedroom.

“Budge over,” Natasha swats at Maria’s legs. Maria releases a long-suffering sigh, tucking her legs underneath her. She reaches for the other photograph on the coffee table while Natasha adds hers to the tree.

Stepping back down, Natasha examines her handiwork with satisfaction. Perfectly aligned on the top of the tree was the photograph. “Now, it’s perfect.” At Maria’s questioning look, she elaborates. “The tree was missing the most important part – the star.” Keeping careful control over her facial expressions, she’s careful not to break just yet. She cups Maria’s face between her palms. “And honey, you’re my star.”

Maria groans at the cheesy statement. Natasha doesn’t miss the slight flush that rises on Maria’s cheeks even as she laughs in response.

“Come here, you idiot.” Maria kisses her to shut her up. And what can Natasha say? It was most certainly effective.

Easing them into a slower, softer kiss, Natasha tucks a wayward strand of Maria’s hair behind her ear. Amusement bubbles up in her throat when Maria breaks the kiss, yawning. “Am I boring you?” she teases.

“You’re the one who woke me,” Maria accuses, but there’s no heat behind it.

“Was it not for a worthy cause?” Without waiting for a response, Natasha slides herself off Maria’s lap to sit on the edge of the couch. Retrieving the blanket from where it had fallen onto the floor, she nudges at Maria’s legs. “Come on, lie down.”

Arching an eyebrow, Maria protests, “We have a perfectly good bed.” Despite this, Maria does as Natasha says, stretching out of the couch like she was before.

“Hush, my star,” Natasha says, tucking a cushion behind Maria’s head. “And this is a perfectly good couch.” She curls herself around Maria’s side once more. “Besides, couch cuddles.”

Rolling her eyes, Maria slings her arm over Natasha’s waist, holding her tight. “You’re the only one who gets to call me that, you know?”

Spreading the blanket over the both of them, she says fondly, “I know. Your Ice Queen reputation is safe with me.”

Pressing her nose against warm skin, Natasha breathes in Maria’s familiar scent. She notes the patterns in Maria’s breathing, counting out the rhythm of her heartbeat. Here, with Maria’s ribs rising and falling below the weight of her arm, Natasha lets herself relax into the familiar sensation. It reminds her of the countless other times she had fallen asleep just like this, with Maria’s arms around her.

Untucking her nose just enough to take in the tree once more, Natasha smiles.

An old tradition, and perhaps a new.

“ _Moya zvezdochka_ ,” she whispers, letting the term of endearment fall from her tongue. Her star, most beloved. A constant light in her life, keeping her safe and guiding her home. It settles, light as the snow that falls outside the apartment windows, yet heavy with the weight of truth.

It feels right.

Huddling closer to Maria for warmth, she whispers the words over and over again against Maria’s skin until she falls asleep. Outside, the snow falls, dusting the ground with white, washing the city anew.

**Author's Note:**

> me: *discovers that advent beer calendars exist* ooh this would be a good fic! it won't be more than 1k words  
> me 3k words later with barely a mention of the advent: i'm a fool
> 
> this fic was written in a tad of a rush because i wanted to get it up by christmas so if you spot any mistakes that i didn't manage to catch, do let me know! as always, you can yell at me on tumblr at [dephinecormier](http://dephinecormier.tumblr.com/). and yes, happy holigays!


End file.
